I needed a sure bet after the William James, so I turned to a book by Leon Kass that I had ordered a few months ago. It is actually by both Leon and his wife - called Wing to Wing, Oar to Oar: Readings on Courting and Marrying.
This book is basically like taking a class, without the bloodletting of a final essay, of course. The Kasses present a book full of selections on the promised subject from various writers and pieces of literature - Kierkegaard, Erasmus, Rousseau, the Bible, Shakespeare, Eugene Borowitz, Plato, and Miss Manners*, to given an idea of diversity. Each selection is prefaced by background and context from the Kasses, as well as study questions, or things to think about while reading.
What sort of love is sustainable through marriage? How should one choose a spouse? How were these ideas viewed at various points in history? More specific questions: What does it mean to take your husband's last name? Are lovers really friends? How is the love a mother feels for her child different than the love of a spouse? Does it matter if the beloved doesn't love back? Is love selfish or giving? Questions such as these, and many many more, are offered by the Kasses.
Totally worth reading, especially as marriage - who should do it, 50% divorce rate nationwide, etc - is a rather hot topic these days.
AND for quotes like these - this one from Rilke:
"There are such relationships which must be a very great, almost unbearable happiness, but they can occur only between very rich natures and between those who, each for himself, are richly ordered and composed; they can unite only two wide, deep individual worlds...For believe me, the more one is, the richer is all that one experiences. And whoever wants to have a deep love in his life must collect and save for it and gather honey."
Which is comforting for the gals like me who are, uh, still looking, and just reading a lot.
*Miss Manners' advice includes delightful lines such as:
"Miss Manners sympathizes with the wish of ladies to be assured that their love will be requited before they give it freely. Handing over your heart to someone who may, for all you know, scream "Yuck!" and drop it in disgust is not a good idea. The trouble is that the world could easily come to an end if everyone waited for everyone else to speak first."
and
"You, out there in Brideland: Are you planning your wedding so that it will be the happiest day of your life? Miss Manners sincerely hopes not. Someone whose idea of ultimate happiness is a day spent at a big party, even spent being the center of attention at a marvelous big party, is too young to get married."
Still on life cycles, at least - this is news? Seriously, where has this author - or the editors of the Forward - been for the past 30 years?
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